"MAYBE IT’S NOT MY WEEKEND, BUT IT’S GONNA BE MY YEAR, AND I’M SO SICK OF WATCHING WHILE THE MINUTES PASS AS I GO NOWHERE. AND THIS IS MY REACTION TO EVERYTHING I FEAR, CUZ I BEEN GOIN’ CRAZY, DON’T WANNA WASTE ANOTHER MINUTE HERE."
- All Time Low, Weightless
Why do I not have more friends that I am doing things like this with??
#lonerstatus
(Source: halosandbagels)
"Let me tell you something about Mitt Romney.
We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in 8th grade, I started hanging out with the current President Obama who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to DC, and Mitt was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow him off to listen to Obama speak, he’d be like, “Why didn’t you support my idea?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so ignorant of America’s needs?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-Democrats pool party, I was like, “Mitt, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re a Republican.” I mean I couldn’t have a Republican at my party. There were going to be Democrats there with their human rights. I mean, right? He was a REPUBLICAN. So then his mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of politics because no one would talk to him, and came back in the fall for the presidential election, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird, and now I guess he’s trying to make airplane windows roll down."
- best quote I’ve heard all night. (via marshallteelryan)
(Source: saccharine-storyteller, via urban-sophisticate)
you can’t not reblog this.
always makes me laugh.
that girl in the bottom right corner is killin me..
lmfaooo
TEARRRRSSSS.
(via urban-sophisticate)
Fact: My chiropractor nicknamed me “Mayhem” after this guy because I distract people from doing their jobs. It’s true. What can I say people enjoy talking to me.The best of The Mayhem Guy from the Allstate commercials
Hilarious. “the Blind Spot”
(Source: deanwincherter, via urban-sophisticate)
I once dated a writer and
Writers are forgetful,
but they remember everything.
They forget appointments and anniversaries,
but remember what you wore,
how you smelled,
on your first date…
They remember every story you’ve ever told them -
like ever,
but forget what you’ve just said.
They don’t remember to water the plants
or take out the trash,
but they don’t forget how
to make you laugh.
Writers are forgetful
because
they’re busy
remembering
the important things.
(Source: ofheightsandhollows, via elloamandajo)
let’s get the day started with a nice big bowl of why the fuck am I awake
(Source: rlymax, via elloamandajo)
